The power to forgive yourself lies entirely with you. It is a choice you have to make to let go off your past actions, realize what went wrong and work on yourself to become a better human being. Every moment is a fresh beginning; now the decision of how to begin it, rests upon you.
Which one of us does not have baggage? Everyone does. To carry that baggage is our choice. You can let yourself free from it or just get enslaved by it.; your call! Although forgiving yourself is way more difficult than forgiving others because we are more conscious of our actions and their outcomes. As humans we tend to brood a lot over ourselves. Sometimes way too much brooding is not so good for us. It’s good to realize your mistake but getting obsessed by the idea of guilt, that’s no good.
"To err is human, to forgive, divine."
-Alexander Pope
No one on this planet is perfect. Its basic human nature to commit mistake then, why punish yourself for it? Why not forgive yourself the way you forgive others? Have some compassion towards yourself too. The emotional suffering you put yourself through is not helping you and the pain is not a solution either.
You can’t change your past, can’t fight it and can’t run from it. It’s like your shadow when you are in light, you just can’t get rid of it. It’ll always be there, no matter what you wish for. The past cannot be undone so just accept it and move on with your life. It’s in the past, it’s gone so stop trying to change it. Make your peace with it and get over it.
Living the past, cursing yourself over your actions for decades is not only psychologically harmful but also physically. Depression can lead to drastic weight loss, severe headaches, low blood pressure and insomnia. This is just one example of what your stanchness to hold on to something you cannot do about, can lead to. It’s a problem that starts from your brain and entraps your whole body.
When you don’t forgive yourself you distort the self you thought you were and since you are distorted, you see everyone else also in the tainted light. It’s like getting rid of your heavy school bag and walking around the campus freely. You experience lightness in yourself , laugh more heartily and enjoy life to a greater extent.
Your forgiveness of yourself does not include forgetting. Your acknowledgement of your mistake is your first step of improving yourself. So instead of being all miserable and loathful about yourself try becoming a better human being and start loving yourself and eventually in the process you’ll forgive yourself. No one is going to tell you to forgive yourself, it’s your decision, so stop looking for signs and do it. You owe yourself that much.